


Growth

by Missy



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Catching Up, Friendship, Gen, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22779724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Lenny and Squiggy catch up after years apart - and Squig is a little less than accepting of Lenny's choice in wives.
Relationships: Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman & Lenny Kosnowski, Laverne De Fazio/Lenny Kosnowski
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will make little to no sense unless you watch this reunion skit from the '90's: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQJ-z_UljHw

“So, Len, what have you been up to?”

Lenny was a little surprised that Squiggy had asked him. The little guy had been caught up in his own world, telling Lenny about his two ex wives, about his stucco business - the long flight from Pewaukee up to Hollywood for the big Golden Circle Awards anniversary show. The boys had made enough of a stir that the ceremony with Joey Heatherton all those years ago to have been invited back in a little bit of stunt casting. Lenny had done what he’d always done – followed in Squig’s wake, nodding eagerly.

“Well, I bought a new tie,” he pointed at his bow tie. “I’ve been married once – and I still am - and I’m between jobs at the moment.”

Squiggy gasped. “You got married without me? Lenny, I am ashamed to call you my ex-almost-best-friend!”

“So? You got married twice without me!”

“That’s different! They was for practice!” Squiggy crossed his arms across his chest. “Who’s the broad that stole my Lenny’s heart away?” he asked.

“Shoving down a submarine sandwich at the lunch table. She’s right over there!” Lenny said.

Squiggy chuckled when he saw the woman who was waving at Lenny – and to whom Lenny was manically waving back at. “Lenny, my good big dumb dope, that ain’t no temptress. She ain’t even a temp! She’s…”

“Hey, don’t talk about Laverne like that!” Lenny said.

“Hey, Len!” she called, still polishing off some chips and a sandwich. 

It took a moment for everything to register – but once it did, Squiggy was off like a shot. “You!” Squiggy shouted, thrusting his finger toward the redhead who had been sneaking a sub sandwich off of the craft services table. “Laverne DeFloozio! You’re the woman who’s besmirching the good sheets of my best friend?”

She glared at him. “Squig, we’ve been married for eleven years.”

“Oh? Perhaps you can explain how that happened.” He crossed his arms and glared at Lenny. 

Lenny and Laverne shared a look and she let out a deep sigh.

“Okay, but not here,” Laverne said.

“You don’t get to command me, woman! As a matter of flack, I have places to be! Drywall to put up! And….”

Laverne reached out and twisted his hair worm until he flailed backwards, trying to bat away her hands in a gesture of self-protection. 

“There’s a diner up the street,” said Lenny. “Maybe we could go there.”

“Fine!” Squiggy said, pulling away from Laverne. “But no yanking! That’s my good hair worm.”

“I don’t wanna know,” Laverne remarked, following him, with Lenny right on their heels.


	2. Chapter 2

The diner was a quiet, intimate place with lots of red neon. Squiggy let the two of them order him milkshakes and then crossed his arms over his chest. “OK, spill your guts,” he demanded.

Laverne and Lenny shared a long look. Lenny sighed. “Remember when we had that first fight? And you told me to get out or else? Well…”

**** 

_1968_  
Give or Take a Month.  
Laurel Vista 

She really shouldn’t be able to recognize a man’s presence by the sound of his hysterical crying. Laverne groaned and wedged open her front door – sure enough, there was Lenny, sitting on her doorstep with a duffle bag and a cardboard box. She could even see Jeffrey’s tail hanging over the top of it.

When she opened the door she could see the tears in his eyes. “Laverne!” he said, and threw his arms around her legs. 

“Len!” Her fingers found his greasy head and sighed. “Len?” she tried more gently, stroking his back and shoulders. “You’ve gotta talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong?”

He burrowed deeper into her legs, clutching the edges of her skirt. “Squig don’t like me no more. He hates me.” 

It was as if he were telling her that Ozzie really hated Harriet, or John Lennon didn’t love Yoko Ono. “Len! You can’t just tell me something like that without giving me details.” But he could only cry harder. With a sigh she took a step into the apartment, dragging his clinging body with her all the way to the couch. 

“Come up here,” she demanded. Reluctantly, Lenny did, and he slumped there, miserably. “What happened?”

“His ma called this morning and said she wanted to move in, y’know, ‘cause she’s getting old and all? I remembered how rotten she was to him so I told him no way would I share my place with her. We started fighting and he said he never wanted to see me again.” 

She sighed. Well, Squiggy’s mom was a beast of a woman, and Laverne knew how protective Lenny was of Squiggy. “So? Just go over and apologize. That ain’t even the worst thing you ever called her.”

“No, I can’t take it back. I…kinda compared her to Godzilla.” Laverne winced. “Not in a nice way, neither.” 

“That’s gonna be a problem.”

“I know,” Lenny frowned. He pouted, sinking into the couch.

“Len…” She rubbed his shoulder. Should she give him access to the couch? Let him sleep here while he waited for a new unit in the building to open up? He started to tear up again and she crushed him up against her chest. “Okay,” she said.

Laverne kissed his tears away impulsively, just to get him to quit crying. She expected him to sneak a deeper kiss – to grab her, but instead he sat still. His eyes opened and then he watched her almost innocently.

Out of pure impulse, she kissed his lips.

It was Lenny who pulled back, shook his head. “No.” Laverne immediately stopped and sat back.

“No?” she echoed.

He shook his head. “I can’t do this after today.”

“Do what?” she asked.

Lenny got up, started pacing. “We already settled this back when I tried to grab you at the Royal Cactus. We’re just real good friends. Nothing ain’t gonna happen.”

Laverne winced. “Yeah, well, that don’t mean that I don’t care a lot about you, Len.”

He pouted at her but attempted a smile. “You know how I feel.”

She shrugged. “Do you like me better than Godzilla?”

He shook his head. “You’re as cute as Gadzooky.” 

“Len.” 

He winced. “I’ve gotta go check out the Y…”

She caught him. “No, stay here.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah,” she said. 

His gaze softened. “Thanks, Laverne,” Lenny said quietly. She let him sink back into the cushion.

Well, she reasoned to herself - he couldn’t be a worse roommate than Squiggy had been all those years ago...

*** 

“Why do I always sound like a jerk when you tell this story?” Lenny asked.

“You weren’t a jerk, you were just scared,” Laverne said.

They both looked at Squiggy, who had fallen asleep.

“Hey, wake up!” Lenny said, lightly shoving his best friend’s elbow, nearly knocking him face-first into his shake.

Squiggy came awake with a snort. “Wah?” he complained. 

“Whatt’re you doing sleeping during the story?” 

“Excuse me! You got all boring and fruity on me. Cut to the chase – how did you get married?”

Laverne sighed. “It’s a little complicated, but…”


	3. Chapter 3

_1969  
Burbank, Still_

Living with Lenny Kosnowski was easier than anticipated, even with his quirks and opinions. It was a matter of stocking up on Bosco and learning careful and gentle repetition of every material fact.

Aside from that, he was as fun to be around as always – and their similar interests and taste made things easier. Too easy for Laverne, sometimes. 

Being alone with Lenny was getting comfortable for her. Too comfortable. To the point where she could easily finish his sentences for him, and could easily understand what he was thinking. That was strange ground to tread. Dangerous ground. 

But there he was, pressing on beside her. When she woke up one Sunday morning to see him sitting on the couch with his guitar strapped around his middle, she had a feeling something was about to shift, and wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted it to. Wasn’t exactly sure what to do, period, but let him set the pace while she forced herself to make breakfast.

But he said the words first. “Laverne?”

“Yeah?”

“I wrote you another song.”

Her heart lurched. “Why?” she blurted out.

Lenny shrugged. He fiddled with the tuning on one of the strings, and she noted the haphazard way he’d strung up his guitar. Sharp wires and odd angles all to produce beautiful music – that was Lenny at heart. “Can I play it for you?”

She shrugged. “Sure.”

*** 

“Lady Laverne,” Lenny said proudly. “My masterpiece.”

“Oh yeah? Is this one about how much you wanna bang her, too?” Squiggy said.

“Shaddup already!” Lenny yelled. 

“Boys, no fighting,” Laverne said. She was downing her shake between bits of storytelling.

“So then what happened?” Squiggy wondered.

*** 

Laverne sat quietly at the end of the song. It was…well, pretty. Just as flattering as “In Love with Laverne,” but fun in a different way.

“Did you like it?” he asked.

“I did.” 

He gave her a crooked smile. “That’s better than ‘Laverne who?’”

“I’m real flattered, Len,” she said. Her hand found his shoulder and lingered there.

“Waiting for the ‘but’,” he said.

“There ain’t one.”

“There’s always a ‘but’ there, Vernie,” he said. 

“This time there ain’t,” she said.

He sat back and looked at her. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she said. “It’s a real good song.”

“Oh boy, thanks!” he beamed.

“Thanks for writing it for me,” she said. She glanced at her lingering hand, then let out a low sigh. “Aww, why not?” she shrugged, and pulled him to her by his ears.

Then she pressed her lips to Lenny’s…

*** 

Laverne stopped mid-sentence to see Squiggy leering at her over the table. 

“Aw no, that’s where that part of the story ends,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Aww, come on!” Squiggy complained. “You get to the good part and you leave me with green balls!”

Laverne dry heaved just a little as Lenny cut in. 

“Yeah, I ain’t giving you details, at least not in front of Laverne – ow!” he rubbed his wrist in response to Laverne’s blow.

“So about a month and a half later…” he continued for her.


	4. Chapter 4

_Burbank,  
1969  
Two months later_

“Laverne?” Lenny winced at the sound of Laverne gagging behind the door. “I’m…uh…just gonna stand over here.” 

And so he did – trying not to hear as she choked and sputtered on the other side of the doorway. Lenny waited until he heard the toilet flush. Then he handed her a glass of water.

“Thanks,” she said softly. “I’m sorry, I just…”

“Laverne, “he said quietly. “Maybe you should go the doctor. You’ve been throwing up every morning for the past two weeks and that ain’t natural, unless you’re me and you’ve gotta see this every time you look in the mirror.” He gestured toward his face.

“I’ve got an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.” She nervously sat down beside him, and he kept watching her face, half wondering what she was saying, half straining to keep up with her mind.

“I mean unless…”

“Len,” she said it in a voice that desperately strained for calmness. “I think I’m…maybe pregnant.” Which sounded ridiculous. How could you be ‘maybe’ pregnant? There was no two ways about it – you were or you weren’t.

His response was instant. “Okay. Marry me.” It was less a request than a demand.

She shook her head, staring right ahead. “I don’t want you to try and marry me just because…”

“Laverne, if there’s anyone in there, it’s my kid. It’s half my responsibility.” He stood up and started to pace. “I know I ain’t perfect and you ain’t perfect and the whole world is crazy and maybe I shouldn’t even be asking again…”

“And it’s 1969. People don’t have to get married just ‘cause they’re having a baby.” She automatically cupped her hand low over her belly. If there was a baby in there, it was barely bigger than the thumb caressing it protectively. In spite of herself, Laverne could picture the future – picture this – Lenny, holding their baby, a little blond with green eyes.

“Yeah. All of that. But even if you ain’t, I still want to be your husband. I don’t got nobody but you, Laverne. You’re all that counts right now, now that Squig’s gone.”

Her heart turned over like a stone pushed by the flow of a river. “Len..”

“Can you make it a ‘maybe’ this time?” he asked.

She sat back on the couch and then nodded, thoughtfully. “Yeah. Let’s leave it at ‘maybe.’” 

“Good,” Lenny said. “That’ll give me time to get you a ring.”

She groaned at his stubbornness, but didn’t tell him no.

She had a terrible feeling she wasn’t going to tell him no next time, either.

*** 

“You sly dog!” Squiggy said, and punched Lenny’s arm.

“Ow! Whatt’re you punching me for? He’s twenty-five years old now!”

“Len!” Laverne complained. “You’re ruining the story! Don’t tell him how it turned out, he’s barely got enough brains to remember what we’ve already told him.”

“Don’t mock me!” Squiggy yelled.

“Oh yeah?” Lenny stuck out his tongue and then sucked on his milkshake. “Why don’t you tell it?”

Laverne shrugged. “Well…”


	5. Chapter 5

_1969  
Burbank_

It seems to take hours for time to pass when you’re sitting in a waiting room waiting for test results. Laverne kept tapping her fingertips against the top of her purse and glancing nervously over at Lenny, who kept trying to straighten his tie and fidgeted in place.

They were going to have to make a new plan. And they both stank at making plans.

Lenny gave her a small, sideways smile and lifted his chin. “So. Come here often?”

She snorted. “Len?”

“What? I thought you might be seeing other syrups!”

She elbowed him. “Come on. We’ve gotta be grown-ups here today.”

“Yeah,” he said, and bit his bottom lip. “No matter what you wanna do, y’know I’ll stand by you, right?”

“That’s awful sweet of you, Len.”

“Hey I um…happen to be the guy who uh…”

She raised an eyebrow and stared at him. Lenny had never reacted well to pressure. He just stuttered until the doctor called them into a little tiny room and gave them the news.

A few minutes later they were sitting in the ice cream truck and Laverne had a prescription for prenatal vitamins in her fist.

“What do we do now, Len?” She couldn’t keep the fear out of her tone. 

He didn’t know – but didn’t tell her as much. Instead he held her and let her silently work out the grammar of her emotions without saying another word.

“Offer still stands,” Lenn reminded her. “If you want to get married.” 

“Len, you know we can’t.”

“Yeah,” he said. But his eyes traced her body, looking for new curves. That was his kid she was having, that was the baby they were having that he didn’t mean to bring into the world. 

Lenny couldn’t stop himself from being a little elated about it. Her he was, a guy who thought he’d never have a family, had planned on keeping no one near – but knew he had lied to himself for years, because his life had become a long, hard, endless pursuit of romance. He adored her, would adore the baby they had. He wanted the completeness of marriage, but if she didn’t want it he couldn’t hold her hostage to demand it from her.

But part of him was honestly terrified. He didn’t want to make the mistakes his mother had made, or the ones his father couldn’t help but make. Lenny worried that he’d make his own mistakes entirely, worse ones, horrifying ones. He’d keep on trying to prove that idea to himself.

*** 

“So I got one question,” Squiggy said.

“Yeah?” Lenny asked.

“Did Len wear the dress when you got married?”

“Squig,” Laverne growled, “if you don’t shut up I’m gonna give you a bruised knee to match your black jacket.”

“You wouldn’t hit a man in public!” Squiggy said. 

Laverne and Lenny shared a look.

“I was scared enough,” Lenny continued, “after we knew the kid was going to happen. I had no idea what to do except the thing I’d always done….”


	6. Chapter 6

_Burbank  
Hah, Got you, it’s 1970_

Laverne had softly rounded out with time. Lenny kept desperately trying to decide when to try to propose to her, but she had tried to shut him out. Going back and forth from her job at the aerospace plant, he hovered around uselessly while she tried to talk him out of smothering her.

But Lenny hung out at the back of the pack, determined to make it known that he loved his girlfriend, even if he couldn’t quite say the words. He went with her to every single doctor’s appointment and made it his business to do the one thing that he was afraid of doing – track every single important date, every milestone, of his quasi-roommate’s pregnancy. 

The wheel turned, predictably, the day when they were scheduled to go in for a checkup. Lenny made heavy notes. They were poorly written, but they were notes that showed he cared.

Laverne, naturally, hated being micromanaged. She especially hated the fact that she couldn’t drink, and wasn’t allowed to get too upset ‘for the good of the baby.’

“I need to yell, Len,” she said, and he nodded wisely at her statement – he’d been making her tuna fish and Scooter Pie sandwiches at the time.

“You can yell at me,” he said. Wouldn’t be the first time she’d done that.

“I’m not mad at you,” she pointed out. Then she stretched her body backward against him, and took his hand. Splaying out the fingers on her belly, Lenny could feel it shift beneath his hand. “Feel that?”

“Yeah,” he muttered, though he could barely get a word out. His throat had choked out and up with too many feelings, too much emotion. That was his kid in there. Already it was trying to push its way out into the world, make itself known to the universe. “Does it hurt?”

“Depends on where the kid’s bumping around,” she said. “Sometimes it feels like it’s squashing my kidneys or my lungs. Getting bigger all the time.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, because it felt like something to apologize for. 

“It’s not the first time you gave me indigestion,” Laverne said good-naturedly.

“Yeah,” Lenny said. “But that’s ‘cause you gulped down my ginger meat cakes. Told you you had to go slow on them to savor ‘em.”

“Oh, Len.” It was a total complaint, a groan of a statement, a fond complaint though – and one of affection.

Lenny would take that.

A few days later, he sat beside his not-quite-girlfriend and watched the doctor strap one of those weird machines onto her belly.

“You can hear its heartbeat if you want to,” the doctor told them.

Lenny lifted his chin, and he glanced at Laverne. “Yeah. Please,” he said.

He’d never imagined he’d be given this moment, this chance, and now here it was before him. 

And as he sat there, crying his eyes out, he thought to himself that his kid’s heart sounded a little like Jello getting stuck in a sewer pipe. 

Laverne wiped his nose for him, a little embarrassed but her green eyes also suspiciously bright, had been ever since she heard the baby’s heartbeat. “Hey, Len?” she said to the windshield, as they sat in the parking lot.

“Yeah?” he replied.

“Wanna get married?”


	7. Chapter 7

“You turned her down,” Squiggy said.

“How do you know?” Lenny asked, stabbing his milkshake with his straw. 

“’Cause I know you,” Squiggy said. “You’d swallow your own foot to get her to marry you, but you ain’t gonna let her crawl to it. So you said no. Your kid was born out of wedlock?”

“Maybe,” Lenny said nervously. 

“That’s like being a little drunk,” Squiggy observed. “Ain’t no ‘little’ about it.

Lenny poked Laverne’s elbow. “Wanna tell him what happened?”

“Why don’t you?” Lenny teased.

“Well,” Laverne said.

*** 

“What do you mean, _no_?” Laverne blurted out. “You’ve asked me to marry you a million times!! I ask you and all of a sudden you don’t wanna do it?”

Lenny flushed. “Laverne, I know it might seem weird…”

“Oh, it’s plenty weird,” she said. Sitting beside him there in her maternity clothing, hands folded over her belly, she looked as ripe and accusing as a sainted Madonna. 

“But I want you to marry me because you want to marry me,” he said. “Not because I got you knocked up.”

She winced as the words passed his lips. “Len, I want to marry you. I like you. I like being around you. We work together pretty well, living together. I just think…”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want you to settle for me,” he said. “If you settle, you’ll hate me. Like my mom hated my dad.” 

She reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “You big dope. I’ll never feel the way about you that your mom felt about your dad.” He snorted and she punched him. “Believe me yet?”

“Maybe,” he said. “Let’s give it some time.”

She snorted. “Yeah, well – we don’t got a lot of time left.” 

“Two months, right?” Lenny thought he’d heard the doctor say as much.

“Yep. Just two months.” Which felt like an eternity of waiting for Lenny. He wondered if he’d be grey and old by the time the baby finally arrived.

He impulsively bent toward her and kissed her cheek. “I can’t wait, y’know.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I know. You’re gonna be a good dad.”

He laughed. “If I don’t drop the baby or like, bake it by mistake or something.”

“Len, you ain’t that dumb.” He gave her a protracted look that suggested he didn’t believe her. “Well, not anymore.”

He rolled his eyes and pulled out of the parking lot. He would’ve jumped on her offer if she’d asked him only a few years before, but he wasn’t going to do that to her anymore. No crawling, no fleeing on his belly, and no fears. They’d be approaching everything differently with a baby between them.

Or so he hoped. 

*** 

The baby arrived on a rare cold California autumn afternoon when neither of their parents were expecting it to. Laverne was two weeks late and done with being pregnant, and Lenny was anxious, jumping at every single noise as the days went by.

He didn’t expect Laverne to go into labor right in the middle of a squaredance at Cowboy Bills, but that was exactly what happened.

“I ain’t cleaning that up,” Frank declared from the bandstand, and people made way for Laverne as she sat down. 

“No one asked you to,” Lenny said. Fear had clogged his voice. “Someone, go get the truck,” he ordered, as Laverne’s fingers winched down on his wrist.

“I’m on it!” Laverne’s weird co-worker Chuck was suddenly on his feet and moving to the door. Lenny wasn’t entirely sure if he trusted the guy with getting his stuff and Laverne’s body to the door without anything horrible happening, but the situation had made for strange bedfellows. By the time he had Laverne in the hospital and was standing beside her, her fingers rhythmically working against his skin in time to the cramps plying her body with pain, Lenny blessed the guy’s name. Anything that got them to the end of the line safe and sound would be all right.

He had a vague memory of Frank DeFazio telling him it wasn’t proper to be in the room with Laverne as she labored away when they got into the waiting room, but he was too engrossed in the baby’s future to worry about the end result. 

In the end, they had a baby – a boy – and Lenny came away from the day with only a couple of small scratches. A victory, in his estimation. 

*** 

“So what did you name him?” Squiggy asked. 

“Billy,” said Lenny, with a shrug of his shoulder. And, when he rolled his eyes, interjected, “William Andrew.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Hmm. Very flattering. And yet he doesn’t know who I am at all.”

“I mean, you didn’t leave no forwarding address!” Lenny protested. “How was I gonna find you if you weren’t around?” 

“You coulda sent a carrier pigeon. Anyway, so you’ve left off the mysterious last portion of your very long story,” Squiggy said. “How’d you get married?”

Laverne and Lenny shared glances. “You wanna tell him?” he asked.

“Ugh, fine,” he said.

*** 

_1971_

They were together without making plans, taking care of their son, getting through each day – sharing the bedroom she’d once shared with Shirley. Billy was growing, active, bubbly, a stunner – and they had a simple birthday party for him.

They were cleaning up the cake and ice cream detritus, washing dishes with practiced ease, the same way they moved when he’d butter her popcorn for her.

“Let’s get married,” they said together, and paused, shared a laugh. It was the first time they’d ever spoken together like this – shared a thought out loud. But they said the words and understood they were right – and a calmness, a peace, swept over them both.

So the three of them went to Las Vegas together – only telling Shirley later on that it had happened, to her disappointment – and together they became a family which, year by year, expanded and got happier.

*** 

“And that’s it,” Lenny said.

“Huh,” said Squiggy. “Okay. Then I got one last question.”

“What?!” Lenny and Laverne shouted together.

“Who’s gonna pay the check?” Squiggy asked.


End file.
